During the holiday, I went to the beach with my friends. We saw there was a volleyball net. We asked a family if we could borrow their volleyball. We played volleyball for about an hour then had some lunch. Before we went home, we gave the volleyball back to the family. I had a lot of fun at the beach with my friends.
Read this simple recount.
What do you notice about the recount?
Most of sentences started with we. It only used 1 sense which is look and it didn’t use any of the other senses like hearing, smell, taste and feel.
What could we add to this recount to make it more detailed?
Use interesting words like describing words. Using other senses. Telling how did it feel playing volleyball, how did the lunch taste. Use different words for a start of a sentence. Making sure the sentences make sense.
Edit this recount above to make it more detailed:
During the holidays, I went to the beach with my 3 friends. Once my friends and I got there I could hear the waves, my footsteps in the sand and I could hear the seagulls flying across the blue sky. We saw there was a volleyball net. We saw a family with a white and blue volleyball so we asked a family if we could borrow it and they said yes. Once we started playing my friend and I won the first round but lost the second because I tripped on the sand. Luckily it was nice and soft. We played volleyball for about an hour then I could tell we were going to have lunch because I could smell the delicious food. What we had for lunch was a long baguette sandwich. The sandwich was nice, soft and crunchy. Before we went home, we gave the volleyball back to the family and said thank you. It was a lot of fun at the beach with my friends.
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